adfhdfdlfdsnfhdslfjlgjgrrrrghdljahahahahahahhhhhh!!! WOW! I feel better. So I've been noticing something about myself a lot lately. I Need to be in control of every situation I'm in. It drives me insane. It doesn't matter the setting either, I just have to be in control, or at least know everything that is going on.
I've noticed it at work a lot recently. If I come up with an idea and tell someone else, and then someone suggests something else, I get hyper-sensitive and wonder why my idea wasn't good enough, or why they are trying to steal my spot. I know it's a horrid insecurity but it drives me nuts. And no matter how the idea is pitched, I feel like they are saying I'm stupid. I have got to find a way to get over this teenage mindset before it drives me literally insane. I just always want to do things my way. I need to just fucking chill ha, there is no other way to put it. So I feel better now, thanks for letting me vent!!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
hello!
Hello blog world! been a very long time and I still can't think of anything to really write about. Sitting in class today I had some really good thoughts and of course, I forgot them, boo. Well life has been going great, except I've been wanting to sleep 100% of the time, it's getting to the point where I'll skip class to go home and take a nap. This weather needs to change pronto. I've been thinking of some great topics to talk about and I really don't have anything.
One that has been on my mind a little bit is perception. I think I've talked about it before but it's something that I think about a lot. How do other people see me? Do the actions I take come off as they are intended? I know I come across very strong and I think that comes from my determination, wanting to be in charge and help out wherever I can. Does it come across as a good thing or as overbearing, I don't know. One really can't know how they are perceived though, just do the best they can to treat everyone the same and be honest in everything you do. So there is my schpeel today, and it felt soo good!! Now I'm off to think about doing homework and sleeeeeep. Yes. I plan to be in bed by 930, problems?
One that has been on my mind a little bit is perception. I think I've talked about it before but it's something that I think about a lot. How do other people see me? Do the actions I take come off as they are intended? I know I come across very strong and I think that comes from my determination, wanting to be in charge and help out wherever I can. Does it come across as a good thing or as overbearing, I don't know. One really can't know how they are perceived though, just do the best they can to treat everyone the same and be honest in everything you do. So there is my schpeel today, and it felt soo good!! Now I'm off to think about doing homework and sleeeeeep. Yes. I plan to be in bed by 930, problems?
Thursday, February 3, 2011
love
So, the last few days I've felt in a slum and I don't know why. I've been trying to blame it on a few things and I can't seem to put my finger on it-maybe it's my relationship? maybe it's school? maybe it's just me? who knows. Then as I was at work trying to be a grump it hit me: My life isn't perfect, who cares? it's damn good. I have a lot of great things and people in my life.
I can't always be looking for what is wrong with everything or complaining that I can't fix it. And I can't always be trying to find the deeper meaning, or what something means to me. I just need to Live...duh haha.
On a lighter note, I'm trying really hard to find good quotes, and I don't really know where to look, any ideas would be great.
I can't always be looking for what is wrong with everything or complaining that I can't fix it. And I can't always be trying to find the deeper meaning, or what something means to me. I just need to Live...duh haha.
On a lighter note, I'm trying really hard to find good quotes, and I don't really know where to look, any ideas would be great.
Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to,
doesn’t mean they don’t love you with everything they have.
-unknown
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Going strong
Three weeks into the semester and still going strong on study habits And on the Blog! yay me! This semester has been refreshingly difficult, it's a nice change from getting in the same flow every semester. And I actually like the classes and being challenged, I still feel like I'm on the right path with marketing-but-it Is only three weeks into it so I should give it more time before I judge fully. I think I like this semester because I feel like I'm taking ownership of my collegiate career etc. Along with that I feel like I'm trying to grow up in other places. I need to keep working hard at my work though. I feel like I've been slacking off a lot lately in that area, I can't get too comfortable and I'm trying not to do that, it's a hard boundary to play!! I know I have lots to work on in that area, and that makes me nervous as hell really. Life is all about impressions and I'm trying really hard to keep a positive impression there; any wrong step and that can crumble-yikes.
On a personal note: Jake and I had a really good conversation today that helped me see things about our relationship a little better. We are both completely different people and we help bring each other down a bit. But I've felt recently like we have completely separate social lives and never really see each other on the weekends and stuff. Because I'm not 21 I've felt kinda left out :(
But when I brought up this issue today he said you're right we do have different social lives and it's for the better. When we go out together I end up getting really grumpy because we're stuck in social situations that make me uncomfortable, (lots of drunk people, loud, obnoxious, too many, etc.) I end up getting really stressed and grumpy, not to mention tired because we're out till 3 or 4 in the morning and it's not fair to either of us to put each other through that. So to openly talk about the situation was nice. When I turn 21 it'll be a completely different story though!
So to wrap it up, I'm not one for house parties, and it's better to just keep my nose out of it haha. Can't wait to be 21 and be able to party it up though!!
All in all it's been a good weekend so far, just lots of work, which =$$$. Speaking of, I think it might be time for retail therapy soon, spring fever ahhh.
This has been a very long post, felt good but it's time to go now! As always, thanks for letting me vent.
On a personal note: Jake and I had a really good conversation today that helped me see things about our relationship a little better. We are both completely different people and we help bring each other down a bit. But I've felt recently like we have completely separate social lives and never really see each other on the weekends and stuff. Because I'm not 21 I've felt kinda left out :(
But when I brought up this issue today he said you're right we do have different social lives and it's for the better. When we go out together I end up getting really grumpy because we're stuck in social situations that make me uncomfortable, (lots of drunk people, loud, obnoxious, too many, etc.) I end up getting really stressed and grumpy, not to mention tired because we're out till 3 or 4 in the morning and it's not fair to either of us to put each other through that. So to openly talk about the situation was nice. When I turn 21 it'll be a completely different story though!
So to wrap it up, I'm not one for house parties, and it's better to just keep my nose out of it haha. Can't wait to be 21 and be able to party it up though!!
All in all it's been a good weekend so far, just lots of work, which =$$$. Speaking of, I think it might be time for retail therapy soon, spring fever ahhh.
This has been a very long post, felt good but it's time to go now! As always, thanks for letting me vent.
Friday, January 21, 2011
words
I don't have much to say today. I know it's not spring yet, but I feel like it's time to start redoing my wardrobe a bit! Shopping online can be addicting. During the winter I want to be so energetic and proactive and get out and do things, but then I walk outside and lose all motivation because it's so FREEZZIINNGG!!
I really need to be more proactive, even if it's just taking on projects or something! I think I might want to get into baking as well, but then I sit down to look up the recipes, and lose all motivation. I blame winter. Something about the cold just sucks the oommpha right outta me.
But! on the bright side, I am starting a project for work, a magnet board! It will only take 10 minutes, but it's still something. Anywhoo, I'm out of things to say for the moment, maybe in all my boredom I'll think of something else to post about later.
I really need to be more proactive, even if it's just taking on projects or something! I think I might want to get into baking as well, but then I sit down to look up the recipes, and lose all motivation. I blame winter. Something about the cold just sucks the oommpha right outta me.
But! on the bright side, I am starting a project for work, a magnet board! It will only take 10 minutes, but it's still something. Anywhoo, I'm out of things to say for the moment, maybe in all my boredom I'll think of something else to post about later.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)