Spain

Holy crap yes I am alive. sorry I've been totally m.i.a. the last Five weeks! But Spain has been amazing, but I am very ready to come home. Oviedo is such a beautiful place, the perfect blend of old meets new. Anyway, I have absolutely loved class here and the people! I live with a host mom, Marisol, and she is absolutely amazing! She has two dogs, Randy and Ruchi and they are also amazing! And she is very understanding that I don't speak Spanish very well haha and she is so laid back. The second night in Spain I drank a little too much and threw up, ya, welcome to Spain! There is a lot going on in my head right now but I am just starting to wind down and I am ready to come home. I think once I get home I'll be able to reflect much better and write more about the entire experience.

But there are some great people here and the people of Oviedo are truly amazing.

madrid

I'M IN MADRID!!!!!! it is absolutely terrifying flying by yourself in a foreign country by the way. I keep getting overwhelming waves of emotion and I burst into tears on the spot; not sure what's with that but it's getting old haha. anyway, I have the best friends in the world for being so supportive of this trip and i already cannot wait to get back and tell them everything!!! BUT i only have 7 minutes left on my purchased internet and must say goodbye for the moment. I'll try to write again! adios!

lost

Sorry guys, I've been kinda m.i.a. the last few days I'm going through a rough patch and really don't feel like talking about it yet. I'm still working on how to handle everything so I don't want to rant about anything yet. I'm a little heartbroken I'll put it that way and so I'm a slight wreck.
I don't really know what else to talk about because this seems to be all I can think about. Sorry I'm being such a downer I just feel a little out of control right now and I'm trying really hard to reign it all in.
That's all I have to say right now, I just feel like laying in bed right now.

help cont'd

FIRST: AHHHH I HATE TYPOS!!!! especially when I notice them in my own typing, I feel like a total failure when I see them haha.

Anyway, back to my previous post. I really am worried about them, but I don't want to enable their current behavior. I was talking to my mom today and she said that they probably have to be with someone to feel good about themselves, which I can understand, and that is a bad habit to fall into, but I also think that that doesn't excuse your behavior around others. I know I just keep saying the same thing but I am just trying to think of something to say to them that would be meaningful, but not offensive. I really think they need to quit doing things for others attention and acceptance and just needs to do what makes them happy for once. I think they need to find a way to not be insecure about every word that comes out of their mouth. I know, easier said than done but it realllly needs to be done!!! I feel so bad for talking about this, but I really am concerned about this situation. hmm bother. well that was a wonderful vent/thinking session. thanks!

on a lighter note, when to sushi with some good people, it was nice to meet new people. really excited for work tomorrow!

AAANNNDDD holy crap, I really have to start preparing for Spain. damn.

help

I've had this thought that keeps nagging at me and I'm not sure what to do. I have this person in my life that is having a hard time, but at the same time I feel like they've brought a lot of it upon themselves. I feel like someone needs to reach out to them and help them, but I don't want to enable their current behavior, but I think if I don't then they will only get worse.
I don't really know how to say what I'm hoping for. I guess I just want them to feel like they are accepted, and that they have someone to talk to, but not whine too! well I will add to this later, I've got to shower and such now!
I think I need to put some more thought into this one.

Preparations

I have nooo motivation today! I am tired and just feel like sitting on the couch and watching tv all day. But I need to get up and be productive and have a good day at work.

I leave for Spain in 11 days and I'm starting to get really nervous about it. I'm going to be living with a family that doesn't speak English!!! And it's for 5 weeks, that is so long. I'm afraid I'm going to be missing out on so many things here at home and work. I know it's a good experience to be away from home and the comfort of what you know but I am scared. I'll be taking classes so that will keep me busy! I am also scared of making friends!!! I know that is a silly concern, but I always get so nervous around new people, especially because we will be trying to communicate in a new language! I have to start getting packed and ready for learning a language. there is a lot to get ready.
So I feel a little better about it, thanks for letting me vent!!

Getting ice cream with my boyfriend tonight!! so excited :)

Duffy - Syrup & Honey

I love this video because it's her recording so it's not tweaked at all and I just love watching artists actually perform and really get into the music.

mother's day

HAPPY LATE MOTHER'S DAY! Mother's day was wonderful this year! we went to J's brother's homecoming at the Mormon church and it was really enjoyable! I've never been a religious person, mainly because I wasn't raised with it, but going to church every once in a while is quite refreshing. While the crying and talking babies aren't very enjoyable listening to the speakers is.

I don't really have much to say today, just that the weekend was awesome and it feels really nice to have finals over with. Today is not the day for deep discussion haha.

Oh one downside to the weekend, i think i broke my toe :(

so that is all for today. sorry, I'll have something better to say later i think.

update

Ok sorry I've been gone for a few days, I'm finally done with finals. Today was a stressful day at work and I just need to remember that there are some things I cannot change, cannot control, and don't have to control. I don't always needs to be in charge and I don't need to pick up after everyone else.

I also think I need to be more patient. a LOT more patient. I noticed myself today raising my eyebrows or scoffing at a customer or even a co-worker, this is horrible. I am not perfect, so I shouldn't expect anyone else to be. This is kind of a random post and about just a few things I've noticed about myself and what I need to work on.

And I need to make an apology, I am sorry I overreacted you're right I am tired too, and we don't need to see each other all the time. But it is hard to get excited about plans and have them change for what seems like a silly reason. But I don't need to depend on you for my happiness and contentment. I'm sorry, I'll work on that.

I think that will be my next post. yup. well alright.

FINALS ARE OVER!!! SO EXCITED. now to plan for Spain. oh my gosh. I'm so nervous.

To C, E, and A (and I'm totally stealing this from A), thank you, you are all amazing, beautiful people. Work wouldn't be the same without you.

ok just kidding! i want to do another post today. I am full of energy, but have nowhere to channel it! I have to go to work, I guess I could do it there haha. But until then, I feel like I should update this with some pictures of some of my favorite people since this is a fairly recent blog.



this is my bestie Sally, we have been friends for 15 years.




My boyfriend, Jake, I could have done a cute picture but this one just sums us up better :)




some of my best girlies, and I just think this picture is adorable.

Hiking

Sorry it's been a few days, I think I'm running out of steam with finals and such. But yesterday was a great day! Jake and I went to motocross saturday night, and spent most of sunday sitting on his bed doing homework and messing around on the computer. Around 2 o'clock he kidnapped me and we went hiking! we went with some friends and about halfway up the trail we hit snow, so we started a snowball fight up the rest of the trail!

I decided to try and be impressive and take a shortcut, which resulted in me tripping over a root and tumbling clear off the trail, i know, impressive right? Later we went to dinner at his parent's house and it was amazing. I love feeling like part of a family, and a big family!!

There really is no point to this post other than to say that the little things are important. Yesterday showed me that I don't have to be always doing something extravagant and crazy to enjoy it.

Library

The past couple of days I have been in the library much more than I would like to be, but that is finals for you. My problem with the library, is there are soooo many interesting people to stare at! Yes, I stare, and I'm ok with that. I find it highly enjoyable to try and guess what kind of life people live outside of this little library.

But I must say, 3OH3! is some good library music, it just makes it better, and definitely makes you feel like a badass, at least it does to me. Maybe it's because I relate the lyrics to people I see in the library, don't ask me how that works, it just does. it makes me feel a little better about myself.

Anyway, that is all I really have to say today, I'm gonna try to focus....right.

P.S.
Had a GREAT night with some of my good friends last night.
-tea parties are beautiful
-it's a major
-and don't play with candles, they are far too entertaining.

-Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.

Day 1

So this is my first endeavor in "blogging' and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it yet. I have been reading a few blogs and I feel that everyone has something to share and this is a good place to say what you want without having to worry about how it will be received, after all, it is Your blog.
So I guess for my first post I would like to say thank you in advance for reading, keeping an open mind, and accepting this page for what it is. I am not sure what it will turn in to quite yet, but I look forward to it. I feel like I want to to say everything in one post, but that would be silly, after all, mystery is a good thing. Which brings me to an idea I've been muddling for quite some time.
Not knowing is not a bad thing. Sometimes it is ok to just let things happen, rather than try to control them. I think I try too hard to control every aspect of my life and can't relax and just be ok in knowing that whatever happens, it will be ok. I guess that is all I want to say for today because I am going to try to keep this semi-organized. But before I go, I think I should make a list of a few things I want to talk about in this, so I don't forget myself.
-Being alone
-PDA (this can be attributed to the couple in the library next to me)
-Summer vacations
-relationships in general
-whatever suits my fancy

-Fear less, hope more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours.